|| Thursday, February 01, 2007 ||
that look in your eyes... its mesmerising
12:27 AM
_____________
|| Saturday, December 23, 2006 ||
Complications
the ironies in life, something i can never understand. our lives can often be made so simple but yet we choose to complicate our lives so much that we sometimes dont even understand what is going on in life. nothing changes the fact that we are faced with shits everyday so why not just face up to them wit courage instead of running away from them? since these shits come daily, why not solve them slowly a step at a time instead of rushing into them?
the journey of life is never a smooth sailing trip. why not just follow ur heart and go with ur dreams? why go with the flow? isn't it tiring to be living up to someone else's expectations instead of ur own? i am not trying to go against the flow of life but i am just having my own doubts about these issues. i am tired of following one direction in life and i just wanna do something different for a change. would it be a mistake? no one knows. would i regret making these decisions? no one knows either but all i know is that for now, by following my heart is what i really will be happy with,
that look in your eyes... its mesmerising
12:18 PM
_____________
|| Monday, December 18, 2006 ||
i found myself hand banging to the music at the gig at gas haus yesterday. good grief, hardcore matel, emo core rock, and all sorts of extreme music. pple were moshing and everything else it was massive gig boy. i think i am beginning to like such music! music that many call noise is starting to sound beautiful to my ears. i guess many would think that it is absoulutely crazy to listen to such music but it really isn;t and i am saying this, it rocks! Kim was playing bass yesterday. his band did a fantastic job but its such a pity that by the time they performed, the crowd was already gone. its ok i guess cus on tues we are gonna head for another gig that will absoulutely blow everyone away! whoosh! i cant wait. this is so exciting. i wanna play in a rock band too! ok i am getting all sorts of crazy ideas from such gigs. shall control my fetish for emo fucks waha! aytes this was just a super random post anyways
that look in your eyes... its mesmerising
12:36 PM
since you've been gone
its been one year since everything happened. been a rather fullfilling year for me. did lotsa stuff for myself and i managed to land a whole new identity for myself. i would not say that i do not think of the past anymore but everyday the thoughts get lesser and lesser. i no longer hope for u to come back anymore and i know it will no longer happen. ur happy with ur other half and i am happy for u too. hopefully one day we can be friends once again.
u still know me as who i was two yrs ago.
that look in your eyes... its mesmerising
12:23 PM
_____________
|| Wednesday, December 13, 2006 ||
count on no one
what are promises for?
are they really meant to be kept
or are they just meant to be broken.
i know i may appear to be really cynical about what i have to say in this next post but i will say it anyway. no one can really be counted on cause everyone would definitely have a time where they will turn you down. i sometimes think about it and i find myself really tired. i am tired of what i am doing for everyone. no one seems to notice me despite me helping and i sometimes think, in that case why should i even bother? i am so tired of not having someone to count on. everything in my life is so unpredictable and sometimes i wish that my life can just be the life of any other typical people. gosh. i have absolutely no idea what is going on.
sometimes the only way to fly is to fall down but miss the ground
that look in your eyes... its mesmerising
2:08 AM
_____________
|| Sunday, December 10, 2006 ||
i made a statement that was totally contradicting but it kinda represented whatever that was inside me! here is how the conversation went.
friend: so are u waiting for her?
me: i really dunno cus everything is really kinda messed up.
me: but the weirdest thing is i feel at ease depite all these mess.
what i said totally left me puzzled but i guess i have learnt to adapt to messes and learn to feel and get comfortable with them.:)
i do admit that there are times when i totally hate the mess i am in and despise my life so much that i wished i could end it but right now as times go by, i am slowly learning to get comfy with my mess. not that i am being submissive to my mess but i am just trying to take care of my mess from another perspective. i have learnt to be responsible and to clear up my mess, wells at least that is what i was brought up to do, and i also finally understood how it really feels like to be clearing someone else's mess and i absolutely hate that sort of feeling and so i shall spare the pple who might be affected by my actions the agony of clearing up my mess.:) i know i am nice and i am beiginning to see that-grins-
that look in your eyes... its mesmerising
2:28 AM
_____________
|| Wednesday, December 06, 2006 ||
Stop
i am so sick and tired of ur stares.
u think of me like some shit when we meet
but when u get home u ask me all sorts of crap.
u interrogate me like i am ur criminal.
u make it sound like i still need to report to u about my every single move.
so what if the girl u saw with me is m the one like?
so what if it is not? it is no longer any of ur busniess i believe.
u were the one who ended it and moved on
but right now u act like ur totally doing something else.
fuck it ok?! leave me alone and let me be.
i hate ur guts and ur ego is way too big for ur own good.
i deserve the fun that i am having and just shut that gap if ur jealous.
u piss me off big time.
Neurotic exs.. gosh. absolutely absurd and retarded.
that look in your eyes... its mesmerising
5:58 AM
_____________
|| Saturday, December 02, 2006 ||
Maybe?
Maybe just maybe my independence is starting to get in the way. someone said that its really hard to be nice to me cus i just simply wont agree to others help. maybe something is just really wrong with me and my lifestyle right now that sometimes i myself have difficulties living my life.
i guess deep withing me, i still fear rejection and i cant seem to go about making myself happy. i often think to myself what on earth exactly is stopping me? so many questions in my head yet so many left unanswered
that look in your eyes... its mesmerising
1:35 AM
_____________
